Pre Surgery

Pre Surgery was okay went by with no problems. I went in the morning and got my blood drawn, then up to pre surgery where they went over everything.. The surgery will take about 5 hours and could be longer or shorter. The called me on Friday my blood levels are good but they forgot to type and cross me so I have to come in on Wednesday a half hour earlier. I will most likely have to be in there about 5:30 am.
We told Tyler yesterday that I will be going in for surgery on Wednesday and he will stay at Erica's during this time. Richie is going to stay with me in the hospital overnight. I am starting to get a little nervous and a little sad. I am guessing that is to be expected.

8 days to go....

Ankle Update: I went to the orthopedic doctor on Friday. Ankle is okay just a bad sprain and small fracture on the top of my foot. I am in a boot for the week. Kind of a pain but better than a cast. The foot is all black and blue. It was hurting yesterday after working all day. I need to ice it more.

Tomorrow is the pre-op day at Duke. Should be no problems. I think I am allergic to the new cream that I bought though. I used it on my arms and legs and now I am bumps on them. Hoping that doesn’t cause any problems. I have no idea what to expect tomorrow expect I know that they are taking my blood and going over everything with me. The anticipation is bothering me though. I am very nervous about the lymph node removal more than the breast removal. Not sure why. I just want to know what to expect, only time will tell.

Not Sleeping.....

I haven't been sleeping well at night. It sucks. I keep thinking of everything. Will the cancer come back? What will happen during surgery? Will I be okay when I get home? All these thoughts are going around in my mind every night. I wish they would stop.
Then this morning as I was leaving to go to work I fractured my ankle. Yes you read that right 12 days before surgery I have fractured my ankle and will see the orthopedic surgeon this afternoon. I am hoping that they do not put me in a cast. Please do not put me in a cast!

Moving on to Duke

Yesterday I had my final pre op appointment at Duke. It was good and Richie went with me so he could finally meet the new breast surgeon and also meet the new oncologist.

Walking into the Duke Cancer Center is a lot like walking into a hotel. It is pretty relaxing or at least as relaxed as you can be.

Dr. Greenup went over the surgery with us again and what to expect. The nurse came in afterwards to go over the care of the drains. I was glad that he was there to hear everything and finally meet her.

Afterwards Dr. Mitchell came in and went over what will happen after surgery. We are going to wait on the pathology report to see if I have to do more chemo or if I can move onto radiation. If I need chemo again she will try and get me into one of the Duke studies. That would be a good thing but I am hoping no more chemo.

So all my oncology and all my medical will be at Duke. I am happy for this change.

I am getting a little nervous about the surgery more so about afterwards then the actual surgery. Richie is going to stay at the hospital with me and Tyler will stay with Erica until I come home. Should be interesting though.

14 days and counting!

Looking Back...

I can’t believe that it has been 4 ½ months since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. When I look back I knew something was wrong and I knew it was cancer. When I went for my annual mammogram I told the tech where the mass was and she told me I would have to come back to get an ultrasound. Once I had the ultrasound and they said I should have a biopsy I took things into my own hands. I did not wait for the Doctor to call me.

There is not much I would have done different through this whole thing. I think the main thing though is I would not have been so hesitant to get a second opinion. I love the new breast surgeon she takes the time that is needed to sit with me. I don’t feel rushed at all in her office and I feels that she cares for me as a person and not just a number. The other breast surgeon was kind of very cut dry and was like yes this cancer and here are all your appointments over the next couple of days and I will see you next week.

When I went to Duke for the second opinion and they knew it was the second opinion both the breast surgeon and the oncologist took their time with me.

The oncologist that I saw the 1^st time also took his time with me but when I took my cousin to some of the appointments he was pretty dismissive with her and I didn’t really like that.

I like the idea of having all my stuff in one center and everyone having access to each other. Where as if I kept the oncology part at CCNC they would have to get my stuff from Duke. Since I am planning on doing the radiation at Duke it was easier to just transfer everything there. So it will be done as of Monday.

I am actually looking forward to Monday’s appointment it will answer many questions I have about afterwards and they might not be answered until after surgery but at least I can see what the team is thinking.

I have a good feeling about the surgery, I am hoping that everything goes well during surgery and I get clean margins. I am a little nervous though. I guess I should be I took on Chemo head on and knew I needed to get through this. Now that it is over I can’t believe that I worked through the whole thing. One thing I am very grateful for the fact that I did not get sick at all. Yes I had complications during it but I was able to handle all of them. I am hoping that I can do the same through the recovery. I am nervous more about the drains though and how do I explain the surgery to Tyler. I hope he does okay with it. But that we won’t know until I am home.

19 days and counting!

Taxol # 4

Right now I am sitting here getting my premeds for my last Taxol treatment. It is amazing how this has flown by. Seems like yesterday I was getting my first dose of AC. This is bitter sweet for me. I am excited that this is the last one. My blood levels were good this time so no more blood transfusions! Yeah me!
In just 3 short weeks I will be having my mastectomy and hysterectomy. That in it self seems far away and yet very close to happening.
It is going to be a busy next three weeks. Hopefully this last Taxol will be nice to me as the others were and I am just tired. I am so glad I did not get sick at all while on treatment this was one of my biggest fears. I am off for now almost time to start my Taxol! :)

Next Steps....

I seem to do better when I look to the next step. What will happen next? I am worried what will happen when I am done with radiation and I am waiting for the reconstruction? What kind of appointments will I have? Also I know there is so much out there on what tests to get what not to get. I want to know all of this now! I know it is bad and not even something I should be thinking of right now, but I want to know what will happen long term.
I have also been thinking a lot of my mother. I think her doctor was an idiot and if he would have done some testing on her when she first was sick with the cough maybe she would have been with us longer. For that I am just plain angry. But this is one of the reasons why I keep going to the long term.
When my mother was 32 she was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Her mother had passed away from it when she was 43 also. I don't think my mother ever thought she would get cancer again (if she did she never told me) she was very good about always going back to the gynecologist for her checkups and getting her CA-125 checked. She wouldn't even switch doctors because he was the one that she felt saved her. She was also very on top of me always going to get my annual exam and when it came out that woman who were on the pill had a less of a chance of getting ovarian cancer she came home and told me to go on the pill.
Again breast cancer was the furthest thing on our minds. I have been thinking a lot of my mom during this whole thing. I feel like I should celebrate the ending of Chemo on Wednesday so way but I am not sure, what am I really celebrating the end of Chemo means that I get to go onto the next step surgery.
Steps I need to remember baby steps...with each baby step it will bring me closer to the main goal NED.

Sunday Morning Ramblings......

Friday seemed to be a rough day for me at work. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I have been getting very little sleep. Even taking something was only giving me about four hours of sleep a night. The steroids are wrecking havoc on me.
After the last treatment my hands swelled up and were hurting. No reason why they think maybe one of the inactive ingredients may have changed. So they needed to put me back on steroids. My feet are hurting too and have peeled again.
So I was feeling pretty down. Last night I finally got a good night sleep. Amazing what that will do for you.
Today is my wedding anniversary. Eight years married and fifteen years together. We have been through it all.
Wednesday is my last chemo treatment at the cancer center before I transfer my care over to Duke. This week Duke hosted a conference on the fact that those who had a breast navigator helped during their treatments. I truly believe that. She fought the insurance company to get the simple drugs that I needed approved and helped when I felt I just had some weird questions.
I plan on asking Duke to also be put in touch with their navigator. I like having that connection.
Lately though what has been on my mind is the after care. What happens when I am all done with treatments. I don't just want to be sent on my way with a see you in 6 months. I have been searching the internet for after care put there doesn't seem to be much. I am hoping that changes.

On Step Closer

Yesterday I went to sign the surgery consent for the hysterectomy. I took Richie with me so he can meet the doctor. She went over all the risks and what would happen if they see anything while in there. They will also do a full pathology report on everything. I should find out the next day hopefully but I am thinking pathology will take longer.
I am starting to get everything together for the surgery. It keeps my mind busy. I wrote out a list of all the doctors and the numbers and I will keep that on the fridge and by my bed. I am also getting my list of supplies together.

When I came home last night Richie said to me I don't know how you do this. I have appointments in the morning then worked until 9 then came home.
I do it for him and Tyler nothing is going to stop me from kicking this cancers ass and doing everything in my power to prevent it from coming back. I am no longer focused on getting through my last treatment but now on survivorship.
So of course I am turning o the internet’s!
I have begun to really use twitter to see what is out there and trying to get all my facts together. I am wondering if it would be better to do chemo again before radiation. To give myself better survival rates? I have lots of questions already for the oncologist when I switch everything over to Duke.
I have contacted army of woman and am joining one of their study groups and I have also signed up for the Health of Woman Study.
If I can help one person it makes all this worth it. My mind is full of lots today and I feel like this post is all over the place. Sorry for that.