The next 30 days will be hard for me. I know they will be it has been almost one year since I had my mammogram and my husband found my lump. Followed by the endless rounds of tests and doctors appointments and then settling into the every two week chemotherapy. I started feeling lost during my radiation; I now realize that I was slowly sinking into a depression. That was a hard thing for me to finally come to terms with. I now call my Lexapro my happy pills. I am starting to feel better about myself and where I am now. I know that I will never go back to who I was before cancer that there are two sides to me now. It how I have been looking at my life before cancer and after cancer. Now I just need to learn how to love this new self of mine. It is different I am different right now I am still not even healed and will have about six months of reconstruction surgery that I will go though.
I have lots of thoughts on Pinktober and what this October means to me. I plan on going back and rereading some of my posts and see where I am now. But for now I am NED.
dear lexie,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you recognized the depression and now take medication that is helping you. I hope you feel better every day and not so lost. it's hard work incorporating who we were into who we are now, but I think you will do very well with your right-on perceptions and insights. thanks for sharing this part of your story - it's bound to help others to have the courage to reach out and get help,too.
love and light, XOXO,
Karen, TC
Hi! I just got reading through a few of your posts. I am involved in the cancer community and had a quick question for you. I was hoping you could email me back when you get the chance. Thanks! - emilywalsh688@gmail(dot)com.
ReplyDeleteEmmy