Since I was told in the hospital that I am cancer free I don't feel like it. I still feel like I have cancer and am very uneasy with the thought of being cancer free. I know it seems weird you would think I would be happy at the thought of being cancer free but I am not, at least not yet. I still need to go through radiation and will find out when I start and how long on Friday.
I finally took a shower today drain free. It felt good but I am still in pain. I don't feel like myself at all.
I feel like I am in this weird and unusual place. I should be happy my husband has been great and still wants me even though we can't yet. I have not thought about sex since I was diagnosed with cancer. I want to feel normal again but I know that it will be a long time before that happens.
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