One year latter......

Today is the one year mark of my official breast cancer diagnosis. I can’t believe that it has been a year already. I feel much stronger than I did a year ago. I was determined to beat this or at least beat it unto submission and that I have done so far. My reality is that I will always worry about it becoming metastatic, like my Mother’s ovarian cancer did. But I am also determined that I will not let that consume my life. If it happens I will deal with it then. I know I have great doctors now and they will pay very close attention to me. On Monday I go for the MRI to make sure everything is okay.

Looking back at this past year in the beginning I let my fear dictate how I chose my original surgeon and oncologist. I will not ever do that again. My first surgeon was so impersonal and I just felt like a number. The oncologist that she sent me to was a little bit better but I felt like once I told him that I would be using a different surgeon and going to Duke he had hands off approach with me. I rarely saw him after that and only saw his assistant. The one thing I loved about the oncology practice was their breast navigator. She was amazing and has become a good friend of mine to this day.

If I could go back and do it all over again I would have switched my chemotherapy to Duke. I think they would have handled my side effects much better. Lesson learned here always trust your gut. I am glad that I had the approach that I was not going to wait around for them to schedule me an appointment but the fact that I scheduled it myself. I think this made a difference in everything.

I am very happy that I changed breast surgeons and oncologists and did my radiation at Duke. Yes it was a trek to drive their everyday but it was worth it.  I barley have a scar and my reconstruction surgery is right around the corner. It is still the TRAM Flap surgery which in some ways I am excited to get. Yes I am looking forward to the tummy tuck. I am very nervous though about what my new boobs will look like. I know I have a great plastic surgeon though and he works well with the breast surgeon. It will be a long surgery but I may be in the new medical building which will be nice not to be in the main hospital. I am worried though about getting sick again and it will be one of my questions for Monday to ask them. I need to look up other ones too.

So there you have it one year later and I am still here kicking ass. Thank you for all the support that I had through twitter and on this blog it does mean a lot to me.

Pinkwashing and inappropiate facebook posts

Most of the time I can ignore an inappropriate facebook post or a stupid breast cancer game. This one I could not and I have taken it from picture from Tales of a Broken Boobie facebook page. I was completely disgusted by some of the pictures and posts that I have seen on facebook lately all in the name of breast cancer awareness. Including the picture below. I have also seen a woman’s big breasts in a profile picture stating that she supports breast cancer and I am sure that if I posted my one breast and stated the same thing I would offend somebody. This month should not be about the sexual side of breast but the side that helps someone with breast cancer. I am sure that if a male had testicular cancer they would not be setting their balls free in the name of support. It is just wrong. plain wrong. Agree with me or not agree with me but this is my opinion and I am stating out there. I also shared the below picture on my facebook page and called out someone on my friends list although I didn’t call him out by name I did post it right after he posted the original picture. I hope my point got across. Please remember what you are trying to do when you are posting something or buying something. Are you helping or hurting someone.

Pinktober

October is loved by many and also hated in the breast cancer community. I have a love/hate relationship with the color Pink. October should be about EDUCATION not awareness we are all aware of breast cancer. Go read a great post from Chemobrain it is  agreat breakdown of all the facts. Also read the breakdown of Dirty Pink Underbelly another great post. I didn't find my breast cancer through awareness I found it or my husband did I should say through self awareness we knew something was wrong once we felt the lump through education I realized I knew I needed to be proactive with getting tested. We need to teach woman and men to be proactive with their health. Today everything is too cut and dry and that needs to change also. 

Shame on you ABC News!

First before I rant let me say I love ABC News and GMA is one of my favorite mornings shows. But after seeing this video I am ashamed that they had someone actually write this to a woman who has breast cancer and is dealing with metastatic breast cancer this is a fear for everyone but to be very rude to her and say that she was the cause of her cancer is just plain mean. Listen and see for yourself. My Mother passed from metastatic cancer 15 years after initial diagnose not her fault at all and not Katherine's fault either.

Breast Cancer Awareness: Stay Positive 2.0

National Hereditary Breast and Ovarian Cancer Week

Did you know that this week is National Hereditary Breast and Ovarian Cancer Week? You can read about it here. With Ovarian cancer that runs in my family and with me being diagnosed with breast this time last year I feel like I have come full circle. In August I was dreading Pinktober and the whole it has been one year since I was diagnosed and now I am feeling empowered and encouraged with the future and my future. More to come on that.
 

Did you know today is national Mesothelioma Cancer day?

You can read all about it  Here

Happy Pills and NED

The next 30 days will be hard for me. I know they will be it has been almost one year since I had my mammogram and my husband found my lump. Followed by the endless rounds of tests and doctors appointments and then settling into the every two week chemotherapy. I started feeling lost during my radiation; I now realize that I was slowly sinking into a depression. That was a hard thing for me to finally come to terms with. I now call my Lexapro my happy pills. I am starting to feel better about myself and where I am now. I know that I will never go back to who I was before cancer that there are two sides to me now. It how I have been looking at my life before cancer and after cancer. Now I just need to learn how to love this new self of mine. It is different I am different right now I am still not even healed and will have about six months of reconstruction surgery that I will go though.

I have lots of thoughts on Pinktober and what this October means to me. I plan on going back and rereading some of my posts and see where I am now. But for now I am NED.