Starting Chemo once again.

I realized that I have not updated my blog since the end of February. It has been a rough couple of months. 

After 20 treatments of Carboplatin I got C-Diff. This was the worst bacteria virus that I could have ever gotten. Not only did it interrupt me getting my chemo I was hospitalized twice because of it. This is something I never want again. I would much rather have a chemo treatment than have another bout with c-diff. It is that bad. Along with the C-Diff I had a UTI and a yeast infection. How I got all three I will never know. 

I am finally feeling better from it. I start my monthly chemo treatments on the 22nd. I am happy about going monthly instead of weekly. My body after a while couldn't handle the weekly treatments.  

I am a little nervous about it though. I know I have no reason to be. I am getting the same dosages just instead of broken up I will get it all at once. But with doing it weekly it gives me a chance to travel with Tyler and not worried about skipping a treatment. 

Stomp out Breast Cancer

#metsmonday #bckills #dontignorestageiv http://www.metavivor.org

Good news.

On Monday my Doctor drew labs to test my tumor markers.

Tumor marker results in all 3 are normal 

CA125 -10

CEA - 1.0

CA 27.29 - 28

In October my CA125 was 89 

Chemo is working!!! I am over the mood excited that the chemotherapy is working  and this put me in such a good mood on Tuesdsy. Although it was short lived. 

I was in my room doing things and got the tube caught on my bed and ripped it out. So I was off to the emergency room and an overnight stay at Duke. I didn't pull out the track so that was a good thing. 

I have my scans on March 27th so that will confirm everything. 

My appointment with the rumortologist was cancelled because of the snow so that will happen on March 11th. I am still waiting for John Hopkins to call me and let me know if they will take my case for the retropertinal fibrosis. I am really hoping they do. I would like to start to get this under control now that the cancer is under control. 

On Monday I get my nipple tattoo from Dr Hollenbeck I am also hoping that he will be willing to fix the left boob. Since the cancer is somewhat under control I can start to do things that will help with my quality of life. I finally feel like I am in a place where I will live for a very long time. I have lots to look forward too and live for. 

Ever feel like a broken record

I do! I swear my life revolves around me getting chemo once a week and dealing with these damn nephrostomy tubes. The amount of times I have pulled them out is rediculious.  Last night I pulled it again, it was just replaced on Thursday. It hasn't hurt me all day but I am pretty sure it is pulled out again since I don't think it is draining properly. 

The cancer does not give me as much problems as the tubes give me. I have an appointment on Thursday with the Duke rumortologist and have sent everything off to John Hopkins so hopefully they will take my case. I just really want to get the tubes out before I start wearing shorts. Not sure how I can do that with the tubes. It will be a very long summer in skirts or dresses. 

Today I have chemo and labs.  They are going to test my tumor markers. The only one that was tested in October was my CA125 and that was high so I am praying that the numbers go down and the other ones are not too high. I am also hoping that I get the results tomorrow also. Not sure how long they take. More to come tomorrow. 

Chemo, tests and more hospital stays

Every week I have been doing chemo and have also been getting blood transfusions when needed. 

The drains came out for almost two weeks until I once again stopped peeing and was put back in the hospital last week and had to get the drains put back in. 

I have gone from being okay with this to being very angry. I thought I was at least getting somewhere with having the drains removed and having some hope. Some sort of a normal life. I figured I could go out and meet new people, go on a date maybe? It is not fair can i get some sort of a break? Have some sort of a normal life? 

After getting out of the hospital I went in for chemo and had to get a blood transfusion too. Plus some potassium. It made for a very long day. 

On Friday I had an appointment with Dr Lipkin (urologist) he took out the three stents I had in my bladder. He is hoping that it will help me urinate better. It was very weird seeing a camera inside my bladder and taking out the stents. This though has helped with some of my pain levels. 

I still need to get all my medical records together so I can send them to John Hopkins and see what the specialist has to say regarding my fibrosis. 

I also had a CT Scan of the upper body and am waiting for the results on that. 

Tyler came home from school with a cold and of course I have now caught that. I am trying to decide what to do regarding chemo tomorrow. I am nervous about skipping chemo but don't know if I can handle it either. Decisions decisions. 

Entering into the world of Stage IV Breast Cancer

It has been a long time since I have posted on here. A lot has happened. In June of 2014 Richie and I separated and our divorce will become final in July 2015. I have full primary custody of Tyler and he will visit Richie up in New York during track outs.
Tyler and I moved into a town home in August . We are settled into the new home and Ty has been settling into his new school.

I went back to work in late September 2014 and was only at work for five days before the skies opened up on me. It was freaky how the cancer was found this time. My legs and feet got really swollen. It became painful on Sunday the 28th. On Saturday night I texted my physical therapist and asked if I could come in so she can look at them. I am very lucky that I have doctors and therapists that are very good to me. She called my breast surgeon, Dr. Greenup  since I had just seen her and she told me to come straight to the ER so I did. My blood pressure was very high.

 It turned out that I had something called  Retroperitoneal Fibrosis  after stents were put in the leg swelling started to go down. I also had to have two nephrostomy tubes put in to help my kidneys drain. These will hopefully come out this week.

With all the scans I had they found cancer in my lymph nodes in my abdomen. This time it is Stage IV Triple Negative cancer and is being treated by twelve rounds of Chemotherapy with a drug called Carboplatin.

 After that we will do some more scans and see what is going on with the cancer and where it is. 

This time I realized that I would not be able to work during my chemotherapy treatments. So far I hadbeen on short term disability and just recently that was down to 66% of my pay.The money raised on the go fund me site will go to my medical expenses and towards household bills.

I read every single comment on my Facebook, and my Caring Bridge Site .I Love all the support, prayers and well wishes. I cannot express how much your love and support has helped me.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

DIEP Surgery

On 11/13/13 I had my DIEP surgery with my right breast mastectomy. I stayed in the hospital for 5 days. I don't remember much of that time. My Aunt took me that morning for the surgery and it lasted about 10 hours. I did really good and I love my plastic and breast surgeon. They are the best. That Friday my beast friend came into town to give my Aunt a break and stay with me. I love Paula. She was the one who told them to up my pain meds at night then back them off during the day so I could get around. She even helped bathe me, now that is a true friend. Richie came once when I was there and it was pretty awkward. At this point I knew I didn't want to be married anymore and had told him so. Once I came home I only had one drain in and it came out pretty quickly. I am so happy that I decided to go to Duke and have this surgery. Once I was cleared to drive I started to get around but became tired pretty quickly so I learned to listen to my body and sleep when I needed to. Tyler of course did excellent with my surgery and was very sweet with me.
The left breast got pretty damaged with the radiation so they weren't able to give me a breast that was a good size to my body so I will have to have another surgery in February with a tissue expander. So a couple of more surgeries for me but my stomach looks awesome. I am so happy with the results.
Now I just wish my personal life would come together like this did.

I'm Back.....

and so much to catch up on. More to come. I want to pick up where I left off so there will be lots of posts from me again.
Thanks for waiting. :)

T-8 days and Counting

With all the turmoil in my life right now I forgot that my surgery is right around the corner. On Wednesday November 13th I go in for my TRAM Flap surgery. I can't wait to start this new chapter in my life.  It will be at the new medical pavilion. My Aunt is coming in to help me and stay at the hospital with me. I am nervous and excited at the same time. It should be an interesting time

One year latter......

Today is the one year mark of my official breast cancer diagnosis. I can’t believe that it has been a year already. I feel much stronger than I did a year ago. I was determined to beat this or at least beat it unto submission and that I have done so far. My reality is that I will always worry about it becoming metastatic, like my Mother’s ovarian cancer did. But I am also determined that I will not let that consume my life. If it happens I will deal with it then. I know I have great doctors now and they will pay very close attention to me. On Monday I go for the MRI to make sure everything is okay.

Looking back at this past year in the beginning I let my fear dictate how I chose my original surgeon and oncologist. I will not ever do that again. My first surgeon was so impersonal and I just felt like a number. The oncologist that she sent me to was a little bit better but I felt like once I told him that I would be using a different surgeon and going to Duke he had hands off approach with me. I rarely saw him after that and only saw his assistant. The one thing I loved about the oncology practice was their breast navigator. She was amazing and has become a good friend of mine to this day.

If I could go back and do it all over again I would have switched my chemotherapy to Duke. I think they would have handled my side effects much better. Lesson learned here always trust your gut. I am glad that I had the approach that I was not going to wait around for them to schedule me an appointment but the fact that I scheduled it myself. I think this made a difference in everything.

I am very happy that I changed breast surgeons and oncologists and did my radiation at Duke. Yes it was a trek to drive their everyday but it was worth it.  I barley have a scar and my reconstruction surgery is right around the corner. It is still the TRAM Flap surgery which in some ways I am excited to get. Yes I am looking forward to the tummy tuck. I am very nervous though about what my new boobs will look like. I know I have a great plastic surgeon though and he works well with the breast surgeon. It will be a long surgery but I may be in the new medical building which will be nice not to be in the main hospital. I am worried though about getting sick again and it will be one of my questions for Monday to ask them. I need to look up other ones too.

So there you have it one year later and I am still here kicking ass. Thank you for all the support that I had through twitter and on this blog it does mean a lot to me.

Pinkwashing and inappropiate facebook posts

Most of the time I can ignore an inappropriate facebook post or a stupid breast cancer game. This one I could not and I have taken it from picture from Tales of a Broken Boobie facebook page. I was completely disgusted by some of the pictures and posts that I have seen on facebook lately all in the name of breast cancer awareness. Including the picture below. I have also seen a woman’s big breasts in a profile picture stating that she supports breast cancer and I am sure that if I posted my one breast and stated the same thing I would offend somebody. This month should not be about the sexual side of breast but the side that helps someone with breast cancer. I am sure that if a male had testicular cancer they would not be setting their balls free in the name of support. It is just wrong. plain wrong. Agree with me or not agree with me but this is my opinion and I am stating out there. I also shared the below picture on my facebook page and called out someone on my friends list although I didn’t call him out by name I did post it right after he posted the original picture. I hope my point got across. Please remember what you are trying to do when you are posting something or buying something. Are you helping or hurting someone.

Pinktober

October is loved by many and also hated in the breast cancer community. I have a love/hate relationship with the color Pink. October should be about EDUCATION not awareness we are all aware of breast cancer. Go read a great post from Chemobrain it is  agreat breakdown of all the facts. Also read the breakdown of Dirty Pink Underbelly another great post. I didn't find my breast cancer through awareness I found it or my husband did I should say through self awareness we knew something was wrong once we felt the lump through education I realized I knew I needed to be proactive with getting tested. We need to teach woman and men to be proactive with their health. Today everything is too cut and dry and that needs to change also. 

Shame on you ABC News!

First before I rant let me say I love ABC News and GMA is one of my favorite mornings shows. But after seeing this video I am ashamed that they had someone actually write this to a woman who has breast cancer and is dealing with metastatic breast cancer this is a fear for everyone but to be very rude to her and say that she was the cause of her cancer is just plain mean. Listen and see for yourself. My Mother passed from metastatic cancer 15 years after initial diagnose not her fault at all and not Katherine's fault either.

Breast Cancer Awareness: Stay Positive 2.0

National Hereditary Breast and Ovarian Cancer Week

Did you know that this week is National Hereditary Breast and Ovarian Cancer Week? You can read about it here. With Ovarian cancer that runs in my family and with me being diagnosed with breast this time last year I feel like I have come full circle. In August I was dreading Pinktober and the whole it has been one year since I was diagnosed and now I am feeling empowered and encouraged with the future and my future. More to come on that.
 

Did you know today is national Mesothelioma Cancer day?

You can read all about it  Here

Happy Pills and NED

The next 30 days will be hard for me. I know they will be it has been almost one year since I had my mammogram and my husband found my lump. Followed by the endless rounds of tests and doctors appointments and then settling into the every two week chemotherapy. I started feeling lost during my radiation; I now realize that I was slowly sinking into a depression. That was a hard thing for me to finally come to terms with. I now call my Lexapro my happy pills. I am starting to feel better about myself and where I am now. I know that I will never go back to who I was before cancer that there are two sides to me now. It how I have been looking at my life before cancer and after cancer. Now I just need to learn how to love this new self of mine. It is different I am different right now I am still not even healed and will have about six months of reconstruction surgery that I will go though.

I have lots of thoughts on Pinktober and what this October means to me. I plan on going back and rereading some of my posts and see where I am now. But for now I am NED.

Rainbows in the Sky....

 

There was a lot that happened in August. I spoke to my oncologist and she suggested that I take Lexapro for the mood swings that I have been experiencing. Things have been much better at home. I have notice a difference in my feelings towards Richie are for the better now. I am no longer thinking about the end of my marriage but at the fact of making it stronger.

I have had very few side effects on the medicine. I noticed that if I take it at night it seems to help most.

My joint pain has been slowing getting better now gone yet but better.

I have scheduled my surgery date for November 13^th. I cannot wait for that to happen maybe then I will finally feel like this nightmare is almost over. It will be a longer hospital stay but in the end it is the right decision for me.

There is more to come but I need to get my thoughts in order just wanted to check in. Have a great weekend!

 

 

Letrozole Side Effects

I knew after being put into chemopause and then having a hysterectomy I would have some side effects. I don’t think I was prepared for all the side effects I would have with Letrozole.

I can be okay with the hot flashes although some nights it is really bad I am okay with them I know that this is temporary.

The one that is really is hurting me literally is the joint pain. My hands hurt so much I went to the oncologist and told her what was going on. I am taking real pain the hands cramp at night and during the day they ache. I am taking ibuprofen and some vitamins. So far it has somewhat helped but not much. On my appointment with her on the 22^nd it will be discussed.

The other not so nice side effect of Chemo/cancer/early menopause is the lack of libido there is none. Forget lack nonexistent. This is something that will be discussed in the survivor clinic later in the month. The only problem there is it my actual libido or is it because my marriage is falling apart? That is for a whole other post though.

 

 

 

August Appointments

Last night while chatting on Twitter with a friend I realized how long it has been since I have last updated my blog. There is a lot going on with me in terms of the breast cancer. I still don’t feel like a survivor nor am I comfortable with the term cancer free yet.

It has been nine months since I was diagnosed. It is crazy. Some days I feel like it has been years since I was diagnosed and sometimes it feels like yesterday.  

I have healed really well from the radiation I still show some markings but all in all the burns have gone away.

My August schedule is as follows with doctors there are a couple of them:

·         8/12 lymphedema physical therapy

·         8/19 I hit the BIG 40! Yeah me!

·         8/22 I have a Survivor Session scheduled with my oncologist I am looking forward to that. It is with four different departments so it should be interesting.

·         8/26 appt with Breast surgeon and the plastic surgeon to set my surgery date for November

All is okay!

I still love my breast surgeon! She is the best! I got in for a biopsy on that Monday. Was told results would be to be by Thursday. Dr. G called on Tuesday night at 8pm. Biopsy complete and no cancer was found. Dodged a bullet there. This totally affirms my choice to switch doctors and then also having the right breast mastectomy. I am very happy with my choices. Now I can sit back and relax until August when I will get my date for November. Feeling blessed!